A Heart-Strings Day - Part Two

One of the homepartners, Grace, took me under her wing. She took me outside the site to the neighborhood – concrete block houses, shops with barred windows and teeny openings for transactions – to buy a bottle of water. She took me on a tour of the site and introduced me to some of the workers and other homepartners. I had lunch with the Japanese group, and then there was some downtime before their farewell party (I wanted to get back to work, but there was no work going on…a little disappointing, but it was good to experience this day as it unfolded). So Grace sat with me and I asked for some Tagalog words. She was a great tutor – I now have a bunch of practical words and phrases in my arsenal! She is being relocated from the riverbank.

Grace introduced me as a dalaga. I remembered from Culture Shock that that meant unmarried woman, but I also remembered that there was more to it – a dalaga is basically a spinster, but also has a role in society here, taking care of her parents and of the church. I will also copy this verbatim from the book – “There is some social stigma attached to spinsters, though. Because of the great emphasis and importance attached to getting married and having children, most Filipinos do not understand how a woman can be over 30 or 35 and still be unmarried (M). The only reason they can think of is that she did not receive any offers. Hence the matandang dalaga is seen as someone who was ‘left on the shelf.’” In Morocco I tried to have an imaginary husband back in the States, though my cover was quickly blown. Maybe I need to invent some imaginary kids? Too late. Maybe I need to acknowledge that even in my own culture, sometimes I do feel left on the shelf. Hanna suggested that she call me “Ate,” which is “older sister,” and is a sign of respect (at least she didn’t want to call me “Tita,” or “aunt”). I told her she didn’t need to. Sometimes people here are referred to by their titles – for example, Engineer or Architect (I didn’t see Marketer listed as a title worthy of note in the book though!).

Eventually the party began. Rows and rows of homepartners gathered, with the Japanese group up in the front in the VIP seats. Sharon the Volunteer Coordinator introduced everyone – the children from various villages did some dances, some of the adults did some videoke, the Japanese group performed their numbers, there were speeches, there were gifts from the town government, there were certificates of appreciation. There was a farewell song that the students and the homepartners were given the lyrics to so everyone could sing – several of the students were crying and I teared up too. The lyrics made me sad so I didn’t keep a copy, but the gist of it was that we’re leaving, but we’ll leave our hearts here, and though this is goodbye, we will always remember you – but it was more poignant than that. The homepartner children lined up to give flowers to the students, and then there were snacks for everyone. At the end, as a special treat, they brought out balut! Grace demonstrated eating it, some of the Japanese students tried it and others couldn’t manage it, and I successfully made myself appear invisible. It was quite a long party! What a treat to see how attached the volunteers get in just a few days and how much love is a part of the team effort (Mahal kita – we love you – how’s that for a useful phrase?).

Actually, it was odd being the only volunteer worker at the site – they are more used to having groups. I hope to go back when a group is there – last week there were Dutch and Americans in addition to the Japanese. I was there too late! But again, it was good to witness this part of what Habitat for Humanity Philippines does – I hope I can convey some of the feelings in the appeals that I’ll be writing.

It was a long and emotional day, and I went to bed early and slept late this morning, but before that, I had a so-far-rare evening out. My fellow Metro Manila PCRVs were at a meeting near my neighborhood, so we met for some refreshments and dinner at the mall. Their meeting was a something of a breakthrough workwise and it was nice to celebrate with them. They’ll likely be coming to the area more, so I may see quite a bit of them!